by | Oct 26, 2020 | Essays | 4 comments

I turned thirty this month. A decade ago I wrote this piece while i was turning twenty and i think i owed my past and future self to write about what happened when I turn thirty. Lots of things happened in the past ten years:

  • I’m married.
  • I’m a father of a son and a daughter.
  • Work has been well. I work for the same company for the past five years which I’ve been so grateful to be part of the team.
  • Basic materialistic needs have been secured.
  • Travelled abroad: Singapore, Germany, Malaysia, Spain, United States, Japan, France (albeit for couple of hours of layover LOL), and Mexico. Looking back, this part went beyond my imagination.
  • Figured out that the person that you think almost always right, turns out a mere human being with lots of flaws.
  • Figured out that i might have mental health issues. Gratefully i grew up pretty fine which is indicated by i arrived up to this point anyway. That being said, the realization explains bunch of things i experienced when i was young.

So things have been pretty well. That being said, different set of problems arise:

  • Once the basic financial needs are fixed, I noticed that money isn’t enough. The even harder part can’t be bought: healthy habit, discipline regarding food and sleep, non-toxic mindset, healthy social circles
  • Prepping for retirement – one can’t work forever.
  • The constant feeling of “not doing good enough” and “i can do so much more”
  • I owe it to my kids and spouse to be the best possible father and spouse that i can be. That being said, parenting and husband-ing in a nutshell is continuously think that you know, only to find out sometimes later that you know nothing, humbled, learn what you haven’t known, and moving on. Whenever you think you’re a good, you’ll soon enough find out that you aren’t. Learn again. Rinse and repeat.
  • Social life. This one isn’t new problem because i never been that good social life wise, but it takes a village to raise a children.
  • Anxiety. Simply put I have a pretty serious anxiety problem.
  • And bunch of other problem.

I don’t think the list above sums up the past 10 years, but i don’t think i want to list them all here anyway; it is combination of keeping private stuffs private and i don’t want to spent hours overthink about this piece. Just write and publish.


  1. Zam

    it’s amazing when we looked back what we’ve achived! welcome to the club! remember, life starts at 40! still 10 years more to come!

    • Fikri Rasyid

      Thanks Zam!

      WTH.. 30 years in and it is still an intro until it is starting in 10 years? That was a super intense intro then 😂

  2. Eric

    Belated happy 30th birthday!

    • Fikri Rasyid

      Thanks Eric! :fistbump: